We meet again, centurion
readers. today’s topic is trust.
Before you turn the page and
think, “oh, god, another love
article about trust,” hear me
out. trust goes across the
board in all relationships, not
just romantic ones. this article
applies to all of you.
on the romantic end of this
topic, trust to a relationship is
like sun to a plant. Before all
you botanists start crushing my
simile, let’s imagine that lots of
sun is always good for the
plant. lots of trust is good for
a relationship. When a relationship
lacks trust, it will be
very strained and difficult.
Many men and women
think trust is looking
through text messages,
contacts on a phone, email,
etc., or knowing
who they are spending
time with, without you.
Honestly, trust is when you
don’t have to know every single
person in their contacts on
their phone (truthfully, they
probably have a few they don’t
even know). trust is not having
to know who they are with
every waking moment of the
day. trust is not trying to read
the text message they just got
when they left their phone near
you unattended. If anything,
wanting to know all these
details shows a lack of trust.
the inevitable happens. your
partner cheated on you. your
partner lied to you about a very
big issue.
What do you do when trust
has been violated in a relationship?
you can let your anger
take hold and cut the person
out of your life completely, and
refuse to associate with them
again.
your other option is to calm
down and make some morelogical
decisions. you should
explain to your partner how
you feel using “I” statements.
this problem is about your
feelings right now. tell them
how much you valued the trust
in your relationship.
after mediation with your
partner, you then decide
whether the relationship is salvageable,
or if it’s beyond
repair and it is best to go separate
ways.
Now, for all of you who are
single and coupled off, trust is
essential in every friendship. I
know firsthand that I should
remind myself who I trust.
trust in a friendship is when
you can tell a person the most
sensitive secret without everyone
finding out.
It happens to all of us. you
tell a person who you think is
trustworthy something you
would rather not have everyone
find out. then, when you
least expect it, the cat’s out of
the bag. everyone knows.
from my perspective, everyone
talking about my personal
life becomes the least of my
worries at that point. my
biggest problem is that I can no
longer trust someone whose
friendship and trust I valued
dearly.
What is worse is when another
person is affected by this.
that is what hurts the most. I’m
constantly figuring out who I
can trust, maybe now more
than ever, and it hurts.
Trust is probably the
most painful aspect of a
relationship. If we did
not have the ability to
trust our partners, we
would have lots of sleepless
nights and pointless
fights.
unfortunately, there are people
who get away exploiting
trust while their partners and
friends are oblivious. this is
where we have to trust in trusting
our partners and friends,
the hardest trust there is.
If you haven’t had that talk
with your partner, there is no
better time than the present.
talk about what you feel comfortable
not having to know
details about, and what you
would like to know more often.
Don’t try to do that talk
where you tell each other
things you have been
hiding from each other,
and make the condition
to not get mad each
other.
Honestly, you will get mad at
each other no matter what, but
you won’t tell the other that
you’re mad. It’s a vicious cycle,
so don’t try it.
to wrap this up, learn to trust
your partner the right way.
send me e-mails with questions,
comments, and any other
feedback you want to share. I
want this column to help you.
your feedback could inspire
my next article. you could be
my muse, so send me those emails.

QUESTIONS
Have a love question or
comment? Email Dalia at
loveunscripted@
gmail.com