I told you guys that friends
with benefits was a topic for
another day. Well it’s another
day, and we’re going to talk
about friends with benefits.
Urban Dictionary defines
friends with benefits as follows:
“Friends with benefits:
Two friends who have
a sexual relationship
without being emotionally
involved. Typically
two good friends who
have casual sex without
a monogamous relationship
or any kind of commitment.”
W h e n
you think
about it, that kind of
relationship sounds nice.
You don’t have to worry about
dates. You can see other people.
oh and the sex is pretty good too.
Unfortunately, most people
can’t handle this. Things get
messy and awkward and it can
ruin friendships.
Usually these relationships
arise from experimentation and
curiosity.
eventually it goes from experimenting
to knowing what you’re
doing.
It starts out with using sexual a
innuendo, kissing when you see
each other, caressing and
stroking of certain body parts.
You can fill in the blanks from
there.
These relationships also begin
after a night with lots of social
lubricant (alcohol) and sexual
experimentation with your
friend.
It seemed like a great idea at
the time, right?
Things are usually great at the
beginning. You’re still friends
and do the normal friend things,
but you’re also getting some at
the end of the night. everyone is
happy.
When you have such intimate
contact with a friend,
feelings will eventually
arise.
one person will start
to feel a bit more emotional
attachment
than the other and
that’s when all
hell breaks
loose.
In
romant ic
comedies, the
person conf
e s s e s
t h e i r
t r u e
f e e l –
ings to
their sexual
partner,
who then realizes,
“oh I love this person” and
then the credits roll and everyone
lives happily ever after.
Hollywood is skewing
our views and ideas
about relationships.
This is what really happens.
Someone confesses their true
feelings. The other person feels
awkward and essentially “breaks
up” with the person.
The aftermath is that they stop
having sex with each other and
their friendship is a bit scarred.
For some, the
friendship ends
completely.
What is the long
term benefit of a
friends with benefits
relationship?
ladies, we all know
there is a need to try to
keep your number of
partners a bit of a
secret and
this is
sor t
of a
notch in the
bedpost.
Just because you weren’t
dating him, doesn’t mean it didn’t
count.
gentlemen, we all know you
think with the wrong head sometimes.
It happens to the best of
them.
essentially, this relationship
has no long-term benefits.
It is doubtful that you grew as
a person from it. All you did was
have a friend whom you had sex
with. A lot.
Another thing to think about is
that since friends with benefits,
is sex with no strings attached,
that means you can see other
people.
ever think about the fact that
your FWB, or yourself, might
have another person on the side?
Kind of gross now that you
think about.
Some of you may be fine with
it, but a majority of you are probably
skeeved out.
Your FWB is more focused on
getting laid than on your sexual
well being, so that’s just another
something you can think about.
Hopefully, you’re using some
type of protection. ladies, the
pill doesn’t count because you
should be worried more about
The week of November 9, 2010 Love 11
Can you be
friends with
benefits?
Centurion Staff
ImAge coUrTeSY oF morgUeFIle.com
ImAge coUrTeSY oF morgUeFIle.com
STIs than babies.
This isn’t a monogamous relationship,
so do everyone a favor
and use a condom.
Friends with benefits last a
short time, herpes is forever.
Aside from diseases, you probably
don’t want to share your person.
That is definitely a sign of having
feelings for the person, which
will bring us back to the beginning
where someone starts to
have feelings and the other does
not.
What happens when
you want to start seeing
other people
outside the
friends with benefits
relationship?
You have to cut it off. Having a
connection to your former sexual
partner will make things messy.
It will be like a soap opera,
only for real, and with a better
plot line.
The new person you’re dating
probably won’t appreciate that
relationship either.
Unless they directly ask you
about it, don’t bring it up. If they
do ask you about it, don’t lie and
just be honest.
Trying to break away from a
friends with benefits relationship
is hard.
You don’t want to lose the
friendship but you don’t want to
fall into old habits.
Sometimes it’s best to avoid
them till your desire subsides or
to at least avoid being alone with
them to prevent any possible “situations.”
Friends with benefits is
a complicated kind of
relationship despite it
being called “no strings
attached.”
In my personal opinion, it’s
fine as long as no one is being
hurt inside or outside the relationship.
It is not ideal. It isn’t a substitute
for a real relationship.
It’s like saying tofu is just like
real meat.
Tofu is great…..but it’s not
meat.
If you’re looking for a
boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t go
knocking boots with your friend
thinking it’s almost the same
thing.
It’s not. It’s tofu; you want
meat.
So what I want to know from
you guys is, what do you think of
friends with benefits relationships?
Have you ever been/would
want to be in one?
Send me feedback. I want
ideas on what you want to read.
Who knows? Your idea could be
my next topic.